Don’t we all love the drama and fun behind secret admirers? Today’s courtship has gotten really boring such that everything is so predictable: you meet in a friend’s party, swap numbers, have movies and dinner, then end up as a couple. Courtship is the best time to put your best and most creative foot forward (this goes for both men and women) and fusing in some secret admirer tricks will hopefully win your target over in an unconventional way.

The first step in this secret identity scheme is to find someone you really like from your acquaintances (at least). Working on your game is not worth it if you are only half into your target. When you finally identify yourself, it wouldn’t be nice to hear you being associated with a total stranger. Second, build suspense enough to arouse your target’s curiosity but not long enough for her to flee off the country. A day is too short but a month’s too long. Shoot for something in between. Third, make this game personal. No generic unthought-of chocolates, stuffed toys, and flowers please. A good “first gift” is a cup of her favorite morning drink and the flowers in season. Carnations, tulips, and lilies are less intimidating than other cut plants. Have a flower delivery service bring your gifts over rather than lurking around the person’s workplace, hoping you can slip the item in when she leaves for lunch. Also, always leave a note with every gift. Skip this step if you don’t mind other people taking credit for your hard work.

It is very important that you create sneaky and not a sleazy identity. Use the internet to your advantage as well. Try one of those secret admirer sites to send your message over or if you can, put up a blog for her. Slip in the website’s address in one of your gifts and post your message on the blog daily.

When you are ready to reveal your identity, send over a “save the date” note with a couple of things that can be associated with the place you want this reveal to take place. A bottle of wine could work if you want to meet for steak and panna cotta while a lomo cam’s a fun way to invite a photo enthusiast to a casual exhibit.

On the day of the reveal, relax and don’t expect too much. All this work might or might not pay off but the point is, it’s still more interesting than the usual meet, greet, and coupling up today.

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Timothy Spencer

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